Service Animals - Ep. 3 - The Most Profound Thing in the Universe

Transcript

Chris: 0:17

Hello and welcome to Service Animals. I'm your host, Chris Connors. Thank you so much for being here. Visit the podcast by the service industry about the service industry and whatever else. I feel like talking about that week apparently. Got some great feedback on the first couple episodes, so thank you for that and please keep it coming. My goal is obviously to keep improving so that each episode is better than the last in some small way at least. Solo episodes like this one will obviously let you in more on my experiences and thoughts on things while episodes with guests will focus much more on the guest and their stories. I promise. I tried to get a guest. It was just hard to schedule and often the people I want to have on have the same work schedule as me, so it's just been hard to, to get to going, but I promise we will have more, more voices on here than just mine. But yeah let's get down to business. So first of all you can call in at(720) 515-7218. Leave a message. Let me know if you have a story to share or advice to ask for. You can also email at service Animals roar@gmail.com. You can be a guest on the show, anonymous or recognized. Share your stories and promote your craft. We're here for it. But yeah, so, a couple of things I wanted to talk about this week while I have your ear, and I hope it's worthwhile even without a guest. It's a broad topic, but I'll you'll see while I'm starting with this and moving into the other, other couple. So why I love service and not even like the service industry in general, but just service itself. I think something that we've all experienced, or you know, at least I have is that jobs can feel pointless. And it's not fun to be in a situation where you're like, I feel like I have to be doing this, or it's all I can do at the moment, but I wanna be doing something else, or I feel called for something else. Or maybe just like, I don't like having a job in general. I think there's a lot of anti work people these days who are like, you know, why are jobs here at all? So yeah, jobs can feel pointless but people. Never do. I'll say that again. Jobs can feel pointless, but people never do. At least I find this to be true. Like I know what it's like to have a very routine situation at a job. When I was younger, I, I lived in Madison, Wisconsin and one of the largest employers there is epic And they. Have a campus. It's incredible. It was designed by, I think the people who did Disney and you know, those parks universal studios the Harry Potter World, stuff like that. So it was a beautiful campus with like 10,000 employees. I. And the fun parts of it were as fun as you think, like, you know, getting lunch or the beautiful you know, there was like a lake and, and just incredible art everywhere. But the actual work I did was all done in a 10 by 10 office. That literally was just two desks, two computers two monitors each. And it was me and this other guy. I don't even remember his name, but we were just in this windowless room for eight plus hours a day. And, there's something completely detrimental to the human experience that I think everyone normal feels within a short bit of finding themselves in such a situation. At least I know I did, like, I took every opportunity to, to run outside and do jumping jacks and, you know, like I wasn't super monitored. So that was nice, but I also just didn't feel motivated to do anything in that office. I remember listening to, I. Rainforest sounds like those long eight hour compilations of like rainforest you know, like raindrops and, and rivers running and the ocean and stuff like that. Anything to feel connected to, to nature, any sort of the outdoors, you know?'cause I think that's very human and primal. So that gets me back to what I feel about service is like. I think service is one of the most primal things that humans can do for each other. Like we. It's universal and primal. I mean, tribal connections of our past, were all based on the continuous exchange of food, drink and good company, you know, obviously other things too. Skills and knowledge and, and love and all that. But you know, in some basic sense, I feel like being at a bar and. Having the position of bartender, you know, I'm simply in the business of providing good company at the end of the day. And if nothing else, I think there's something incredibly human about that position. And the there's a lot of gratitude I have for coming from a windowless room. You know, and I didn't do that job long. It was like, you know, I was a technical writer and I worked like 10 months I think, and then they fired me and I'm like, thank you. Went back to bartending and had a much better time. And nothing against them, they're a wonderful company. But it just wasn't for me and like finding a job that at the very least. You know, it's your, your metric shouldn't be, I don't hate myself every day, or I don't hate my job every day. It should be, I'm doing something that at least makes me feel connected to one aspect of what humanity feels like to me, or what it feels like to be human or alive or whatever. And service definitely does that for me. Like, for example, this happened today. Like there's a, there's a high roller kind of guy comes into the bar orders expensive wine. I might have talked about it in the first episode. I think I did. But I saw him today and, you know, I don't do anything super profound, right? Like a lot of my gig is basically just remembering, you know, regulars, making them feel at home, remembering their, their cocktails and their wine, opening it professionally. You know, taking their, their order that they pretend is complicated. But, you know, if you're any good at your job, you can remember like six to 10 things. And. Remembering those things, entering it in, getting them their order correctly and on time. All that was just what happened today. It is not complicated. He got some to go food, he was with his girlfriend and it was nice to see them. But at the end of it, he gets up and he is like, you know, this was amazing, Chris. It was like, heaven, like what you do. And I just like, I was struck by that phrase. I'm like, it's not. It's not often that we compare a lot of things in life to heaven, right? Great sex, great drugs, great experiences. But to give something that doesn't feel complicated, to give like kindness and attention and good conversation, you know, but not all the time. Like they didn't really feel like talking today. They were in their own, their own world and all I was was a real accessory to the moment. You know, it really struck me that like you can affect people in ways that you do not understand, and you don't know what it's gonna mean to them in their day. Like what your presence can mean to someone in their day. And no matter what you do, you know, bartends serve however you serve. Then even if, you know, just your interactions of the day, I mean, like, I think we just take for granted, like we bump into each other in this life, right? We don't, we don't reach in all the time. We're not always knowing everyone we see in the day as intimately as our ancestors did when they only knew 150 to 200 people in their immediate life. You know, it's a, it's a different kind of world, but. Something that feels incredibly human and akin to who we really are as human beings is the idea of service as human to human interaction and, and contact and love in a way. So however small you give that, I think that's something that really, it, it makes me feel fulfilled at my job, you know? And it wasn't always like that, and I wasn't always the kind of guy who was mature enough or, you know, maybe skilled enough at my job to offer that to people. But you know, 15 years in, I feel very comfortable with the job of bartender, quote unquote. So most of it, you know, most of my job is really just, you know, like I said, providing good company, but just being kind and giving good attention and listening and. And in a way, there's nothing much better in life that I want to do than that, you know? In a, in a certain sense. But anyway, it just, it just struck me like, I, I really love when people say phrases like that. Like, you made this like heaven. And last time he was here he was there at the bar. He said you know, I've been, I've traveled around the world and I've, I think you give world class service. And that means a lot to me, that that's incredible. Like. How often at your job do you get to hear a compliment like that? Like, would you like to hear that once a year? You know, the amount of times people say that like, I make a perfect cocktail, or I perform a trick really well, or, or something like that. Like the, the, the immediate feedback is something that I know personally that I really thrive on, and it's something that, and not a lot of jobs offer, especially not one behind a computer. Often at that job, even if you work really hard at a, at a project or something, if you're on a team, you know, I'm sure everyone has the experience of feeling like they're swept under the rug or they're not recognized for what they do at their job. And it's nice when you have a one-on-one kind of transaction base of, I don't have to go through middlemen to see how my guests feel about me or how my product is doing out in the world. So in a sense that's. Something I really value about the position I'm in right now. You know, a guest recently said I've met two people that were in the service industry before. Shout out at their listening. Heather and someone else, I can't remember. Anyway, but the guy with her said like, you know, I was just a server, and she turned to him like, you weren't just a server like you served. And I, I thought that was a really profound way to say it, of like, you know, don't, don't live your life saying the word just in front of things. You know, like you're not just a server, you are providing service. You are. Giving of yourself in a way that other people don't. That is exhausting in certain ways. And you know, obviously it takes a lot out of us and everyone who does it has their own feelings about it. And I don't always feel like it's a profound blessing. You know, I have my days, But at the end of the day, I think it's about feeling like you are a verb. You're not just a thing. Right. So that brings me into the next topic I wanna talk about, which is a little out there and definitely in the realm of, oh, Chris is the stoner we think he is, but. Hear me out on this. You and your job are profound. Okay? So a large part of the journey out of, you know, what I went through this past year started with recognizing gratitude. And I mentioned that in the first episode. But it goes deeper than that. It wasn't enough, frankly, you know, when I was really depressed and I didn't know if I wanted to live anymore. It wasn't enough to be grateful. Like you hear that all the time, like, oh, just like recognize the things in your life that other people would die for or kill for, or recognize how lucky you are to have the things you have and the people in your life you do. But there's a bottomless pit that I think anyone who's gone through depression can recognize that it's like no words can get you out and no memory of goodness can convince you that goodness is ahead of you. So you feel kind of trapped in this state where summoning those feelings feels false in a way. So it starts with gratitude and it's a very small, slow process where you're chipping away at the, you know, the armor you build up around yourself and the rejection that at least I remember having about life and not wanting to listen to music and being unable to think of anything is gratitude inducing. But over time, like the small parts of gratitude that got me through the hardest things, and especially family and the people I mentioned in the first half you know, you get to a place of like, what is any of this for, you know, when I felt like. I didn't know if I wanted to be here anymore, and that was a serious thought. I remember coming out of that and having what is only akin in my head to any story I've heard of, you know, cancer survivors who now have a new lease on life. It's like that, but it's obviously not that, but it's a different form of that where I, I became aware that like, don't need to tell yourself a story about your life in order to recognize how profound this is. You know, you don't have to lie to yourself about feeling good just because you're grateful for certain things in your life without just being able to recognize how incredibly inexplicable your entire experience is. And I think when I got to that place in my mind where literally everything started feeling like. Wow, this is happening. Like how is this happening? Why? Why any of this like, oh, this is incredible. Like, and I'll be even more specific. Like, I mean like I think gratitude is a good starting place for the necessary feeling of profundity that has to arise from. Your conscious mind recognizing that nothing has to be here and you don't understand why it's here and you're, you have been sad enough to not wanna be here, but now you have to just sit here and recognize that you are here, you know, whether you want to or not. And there are incredible, there are incredible reasons to find what you're able to, to experience. As incredible as they are. So the universe and your life are completely unexplained. You know, like if you don't wanna be alive, remember that it doesn't last that long. And I, you do wanna be alive. You get to appreciate that it doesn't last that long and. Okay, here's what I really wanna say on this. Sorry if I haven't said this well yet, but it is one thing to just be grateful for your life. It is another thing to recognize that grateful or not, you don't understand life and wanting to be in it or not. You don't understand the universe. And the blase way that you may go through aspects of your life, periods of your life, or even your entire life, is antithetical to this mystery and to this incredible opportunity you have as a conscious creature in the universe. Like think about it, like we don't have any evidence of any other conscious beings in the universe. As far as we know, we are, we are it, we're the thinking things. Okay. And even the, the conscious beings or the sentient beings, sorry, on this planet you know, I have my feelings on the conscious nature of dolphins and other high order species like Octo, octopi. But that aside, like we are thinking the most complicated thoughts and in the most complicated ways in the known universe. And I just don't get wine. No one seems to go through life recognizing this fact in every moment. Like the way I see people at the bar, you know, scroll through their phones and literally just not care, just not even engage with the moment they're in holding their incredible device like a phone looking at a screen that a hundred years ago would be like, what the fuck is going on? This doesn't make any sense. You know, it's, it's, it's. It truly is baffling how, how little attention people pay to the mystery of all this. And you know, definitely for me, coming out of everything was just like, no matter what I do, it will be better than not being here. It will be better than not having had this opportunity to be here. As soon as you drop the narratives about what you need to do in your life, and you just recognize everything that draws you towards it, you know, something I've really recognized with myself is just like I needed to drop so much of the seeking and the, the yearning after, and the, the holding my life hostage to certain things being true, holding my happiness hostage to certain things being true, you know? Certain things being definitionally you know, accurate about who I am or what I was doing or what I was going towards. And one of the most important things I had to do was drop all that bullshit and figure out that, you know, you're, the effect you have on this world can be whatever you make it and whomever you affect. Will be forever changed by your interaction in their life. And that is a really comforting thing. You know, it's often said that like, oh, we're, we're all just biological beings and you know, nothing matters. And you, when you die, you die and there's nothing, it's like. Well, number one, you have no idea, but number two, like, so what? That's still the most profound thing happening in the known universe is us just shooting the shit with each other, going out to brunch, having, you know, making technology, making love, like figuring out how to make life better for everyone. Like these are. Noble things happening in the universe that we can all contribute to for a short amount of time, and we're finding it not compelling enough to put our full effort into. I find this to be bullshit. So anyway, this is something that fires me up every day is, is not just a waking up and or going to sleep and doing your gratitude list and all that. Like those are good, you know, meditative things to do. And I do like thinking about things I'm grateful for before I fall asleep. You know, but it's, it's much more about just like, imagine you're in the movie like. Imagine life is as strange as you can imagine it to be. Like, we're the product of a, of a fucking future society that made a video game and they wanted to simulate the past. And we are that past, you know, it could be aliens who are visiting us from another dimension, and they are just farming us and they're checking up on their crop. It could be a fucking, you know, we could be a TV show. You know, that plot has been played out in, in many shows, but. You know, it's, it's something profound. It's something I keep using, overusing the word profound. I'm sorry, but it literally is just. Awe inspiring. Like whatever you think is happening is the craziest thing possible. Like if you believe in God, it's like, okay, then who created God? And you can go out on that path. It's like, there's no satisfactory answer there. It's all crazy. If you don't believe in God, it's still crazy. Randomness, chance made all of this insanity. So just, I don't know, I, I guess I'm just. I'm trying to call everyone's attention to the fact that you have an opportunity to be in awe of this, you know? The next time you find yourself bored with your life, try to remember that nothing has to be here and you don't understand why or how anything is here really. And furthermore, the best time to recognize the, again, overused word, profundity of that fact is presently be odd. Now, that is your last call of the week. Thank you. Alright, I'm gonna share a story and get outta here. I had a little bit of a faux pa this week. I've had a couple, but I'm just gonna share one. So we recently changed up the menu and we got some new salads on, you know, standard summer fare, walnut, goat, cheese, you know, raspberry or balsamic vinegarette, spinach, those kind of salads, right? So it's a really good salad and I tried it and the next day I saw the chef. And I want this guy to like me. He doesn't talk to me much and I don't know how he feels about me half the time, but I like him and his food's incredible. So I went up to him, I'm like, Hey man, like I just wanted to say this salad is incredible. I really like what you did. And he seemed genuinely happy. He was like, oh, thanks man. Like, you know, and he kinda smiled at me. And then for some reason, my stupid brain thought it would be good to say, you know, but it doesn't compare to the salad we had last year. You know, that was my favorite. And I just saw his face just like fall and just, just, I could almost see his brain shaking its head just like, why did you say that? And I immediately felt it. You know, you get that sweat of like, ah, fuck, why did I step into that? Oh. I'll give you another example. So this was a faux pa of doing something when I shouldn't have done it. So we have a new bartender and she hasn't tried a lot of the wine and some guests we had or she had bought a bottle that she hadn't tried and offered to give her a glass. Well, we're allowed to do that as long as we put it in a cup and save it for after we clock out. Right? Fair enough. So. She does this. I come in at the changeover between shifts. You know, I clock in and I'm set, you know, I, I always go through the bar and like kind of prune it, you know, like change things up, make it like the positions I want, you know, a very OCD kind of way. You know, you get it. But I see this out of place plastic cup of wine. And to be fair, I don't, I don't know if it had a lid on it. I don't, it wasn't labeled at all, so whatever, but like. I I threw it away and I feel really bad. And I felt really bad. As soon as she was like, Hey, where's that wine? They, they were saving that for me and they gave it to me, and I've never had that, and there wasn't really a way to give it to her.'cause it's not a by the glass wine. It was a by the bottle. So I just felt asshole. And yeah. So I give those examples as, just testimony to the notion that, you know, whether you are adding something to the moment and you don't have to as n fa Pa, where you say something, you don't have to, you add something verbally, you know, just watch, watch what you say, you know?'cause I certainly didn't have to compare the new salad to the old one. The new salad's great. The old ones are great. You know, like, don't say something that's unnecessary, that will not make the person listening to you. Feel better for you. Having said it. Which is very general, but in the, in the moment, you know, definitely comparative language about food to a chef is not wise. And two, the, the faux pop of doing things when you sh when you don't need to do them. Like putting yourself into a situation or a moment when you don't need to. It's not something I do often, but. Obviously in that moment, I really didn't have to throw away the wine. And I definitely could have asked her, and I even think, I thought to like, maybe I should ask, but you know, I just, she's busy and whatever I thought she had left already to be fair. So to be fair, it was sitting there and she had already left the bar and I thought she clocked out, but she was just going to like the bathroom or something and came back. But anyway, I feel really bad. And if you're listening to this, I'm so sorry. But yeah I owe you a glass of wine. Or we'll get that bottle some time and you can come in the pod and we'll talk about it All right. I think this is a good place to end on. Please subscribe and rate the show in whatever app you're using. It would help me grow our pride a lot, sticking with the lion metaphor and it would mean a lot to me. Please feel free to review and share this with someone you think would like the show. I. You can call in at(720) 515-7218. Leave a message and let me know if you have a story to share or advice to ask for. You can also email me at Service Animals roar@gmail.com. Thanks so much for hanging out with me. I don't take your time or attention for granted, and I hope you feel respected and better for sharing it with me. Until next time, stay wild my friends.