Service Animals - Ep. 4 - Love on the Spectrum of Insanity

Transcript

Chris: 0:16

Hello and welcome to Service Animals. I'm your host, Chris Connors. Thank you so much for being here. This is episode four, and this is the podcast by the service industry about the service industry. And you can be a part of it too. You can call in at(720) 515-7218. Leave me a message. Let me know if you have a story to share or advice to ask for. You can also email at Service Animals roar@gmail.com. You can be a guest on the show, anonymous, oral, recognized. Share your stories, promote your craft, and have a laugh with me. All right, so let's get into it. This week, couple shout outs. First of all, I appreciate the lovely, let's call them G and t. Beautiful ladies at work who kindly reminded me that I shouldn't be so self-conscious about the solo episodes. People probably still like hearing me alone too. I hope, I hope still going forward. But yeah, I'm a little self-conscious. I'm obviously trying to get this to be a bigger, more inclusive and, dynamic show with more voices than just mine. But as the driving force of the show, I hope I'm worthwhile and every week gonna bring you a new information and hopefully a better podcast every week going forward. So, guest or not thank you for being here with me. I really appreciate you. A shout out to my mom for liking the intro music and to my dad for telling me that I'm too intelligent to swear so much. Greatly appreciated guys. Some milestones. Pretty cool on Mother's Day. This past Sunday, we hit 50 downloads and then later that night got like six more so. I just can't say it enough. You are all incredible. All of you listening and everyone who's just checked out the show, I really sincerely appreciate it. This is a passion project, basically a homework assignment I keep telling myself I have to do every Tuesday. And now as it's 9 53 Tuesday night, I'm like getting my homework in in the nick of times. So, you know, it's a passion project. I love doing this. And every week I'm loving how people are responding and just getting any listeners at all is, is truly an honor. So, thank you so much for giving me your time and attention. Alright, new segment. We're doing this week in service, this week in service, service, service, something like that. So, we'll start global major restaurant chains facing widespread closures. I thought this was a little interesting. So, 2025. You know, there's a lot of downturn in general in the service industry. This is just specific to chain restaurants. But Jack in the Box closing 200 locations to address debt and streamline operations. Applebee's already closed 150 locations remodeling old locations, and aiming to increase revenue through dual brand stores with ihop. I thought this was interesting. I hadn't really like looked into it much, but you know, I've seen them popping up around, you know, cities I've been to including here. I think I just saw one that was a Burger King slash Dairy Queen, and I don't hate the idea of combining locations. It just is kind of weird because when I was a kid you'd go to a specific building, you know, and it would. Feel like its own experience or it have its own, you know, toys that were specific to it or its own like play area that was specific to the location or the chain. So combining just seems kind of weird, but it does seem cool to be able to get like dessert right after a fucking burger you get if that's your vibe. Yeah, and Denny's closing 150 stores as well. Yeah, I'm glad I don't work in a chain, but I am aware that closures affect service industry very hard in general. You know, it's hard to get jobs and those jobs are obviously aren't glamorous as many in this industry aren't. But they do they are still jobs and it's hard for people when places close. And it's also hard too,'cause you can have food deserts as well. That's another issue. Not specifically related to service, but just related to the distribution of food throughout a city or a neighborhood or whatever. You know, having areas, specifically food deserts, I believe refer to not having, an appropriate number of grocery stores for a population. But I think it can also include not having enough food just distribution places like fast food included for a neighborhood or a city. So interesting to see. Obviously delivery services play a big role, I think, in, you know, emphasizing or at least spreading out perhaps formerly not as well-known restaurants. So, you know, Uber Eats and GrubHub and stuff like that, they're all connected to restaurants that formerly didn't have delivery services, including ours. And now that they're available, I think it's actually spreading more quality probably. Versus just having, you know, those old style chains that used to deliver, or like the same rote restaurants that would always deliver. So I think that's pretty cool. You know, as things close, better quality things are hopefully taking the forefront of of all that. So, all right, the next story Airbnb expands into personal services and experiences. So Airbnb has announced a significant expansion of its platform now offering a range of personal services and experiences alongside its traditional home rental offerings. Users can now book chefs, hairstylists, personal trainers, and photographers through a new services tab on the revamped app. Yeah, I initially launched in 260 cities and now went to six 50. I think this is pretty cool. Honestly, I think it's kind of the next iteration of what a service like Airbnb should do if they're trying to adapt to the times. You go to a place, you know, you want cheap lodging, but you also might want a cheaper. Specific experience that formerly was only attached to like a hotel or a resort or something like that. So maybe you could just, you know, instead of having to be at that nice resort, to have a specific yoga teacher to be on the beach with the class at that resort, you know, you could just rent or, you know, hire a yoga teacher to meet you on the beach and have a personalized little class for maybe way cheaper. So I think it's a cool way to get service industry people out from being attached necessarily to a job and maybe just marketing their own. Skillset and yeah, hopefully being able to connect directly with customers in a way that wasn't possible before. Especially with phones and apps. I mean, once you open up that marketplace, I think it's gonna allow a lot of creators and trainers and all sorts of people to give tourists and local folks alike. The ability to learn different skills and experience different things in a very personalized way. So I am all for this. All right. And then personally, this week in service for me had Mother's Day. That was really fun. That was on Sunday. I had a great time. I dressed in my all pink suspenders, pocket, square bow, tie, the nine yards. I try to look good for holidays especially. And it was just really nice. It was a perfect day, beautiful sun. The place I work is just so gorgeous, like the open doors, the breeze going through. You got the windows all around, so the sun's just coming in. It's a gorgeous summer day. And yes, nice to see families, nice to see everyone gathered out and such a little slower day at the bar obviously, but yeah, I was really happy to be there and I had a good time. This week we're updating the cocktail menu, so that's pretty cool. As a bartender, it's, you know, one of the more fun times when you get to stretch your imaginative wings and you know, flex that mixology and come up with something that's you know, a little twist on things you like or a little unique, you know, I do like having seasonal cocktails year to year. They're easy to change up, obviously every season, but also just to. Switch in and out drinks, you know, over years so you don't have to change up too much and, you know, kind of what sells and what doesn't as the years go on. So yeah, it's summer, so I turned in my summer cocktail concepts today to head chef and yeah, I'm, I'm really excited. I think it's I think we have, incredible cocktail list already, but I think we can do better and add some unique cocktails that I haven't even tried yet, honestly. Like a white Negroni I've never tried, but I think that might be something we experiment with. I came up with the help of chef with an orange dreams cult that I think would go really good with Malibu, maybe some amaretto. So yeah, pretty happy with those. But yeah I love mixology as a practice, you know, the other day, I like going into my job and having enough skill to basically be able to do it via muscle memory. But then if I'm suddenly presented with an opportunity, I like being really prepared for that opportunity. So, for example, the other day my manager came up to me when I got into work and said, you know, could you just create a specialty cocktail, you know, or have our team meeting in like two hours and have it ready to like present and taste or whatever. Cool. So, you know, I looked at the bottles we had that we haven't used in a while. Got a sense of like what flavor profiles could be experimented with. You know, sometimes I taste the liquor I'm gonna work with before thinking about the concept. And sometimes, you know, obviously you have a, a wide bank of memory of liquors and liquors. So it's it gets easier over time to come up with new cocktails that are mostly just, you know, plays on old favorites. So yeah my manager tasked me with that and I just took the two hours and quickly came up with something that was, you know, a little bit of lavender, a little bit of honey just a nice summary thing that turned up. Just a beautiful little purple color in the end from the creme devet. So. Yeah, served it to these ladies. They loved it. And now that was one of the drinks I turned in today as as my cocktail concept. So it's stuff like that where like your job, hopefully, you know, whatever you do is kind of a self-reinforcing. I. Entity where you keep getting more skilled the more you are tested in it. And bartending is certainly that kind of job for me. So really appreciate that opportunity to continue to make drinks and get better at them. And that's kind of the same thing that happened with Chef. He said like, Hey, I'm kind of in the mood for an Orange Dream School. You wanna make that a thing? Like, cool. So came up with some flavors, tried a couple. First one wasn't that good. Second one was awesome. Like he loved it. So now I'm hoping it's going on the menu. So, yeah. It's a cool, cool experience. so another cool thing that happened to me this week, and not really related to service, but I just thought it was interesting. I got interviewed by the beautiful sebi from the Male Contraceptive initiative. MCI is a wonderful organization that I've been on the mailing list for, for over a decade for sure. But I heard about them because they are trying to bring a long lasting, reversible male contraceptive to the market, which is obviously, really needed and something I'm passionate about. You know, as someone who doesn't want kids but loves sex, you have to care about those things. And I really want to be a part of the male side of, you know, the equitability of reproductive health and you know, being safe in that area. So I was really grateful to be interviewed and she was amazing. Great questions. And. They're working on a project called Plan A right now that is already in human trials that is hopefully going to market next year, but essentially it's like a three year polymer that you inject into the VAs Deens and it basically blocks all the sperm cells from entering. Semen. So you can still ejaculate, but you're not having any sperm in the actual ejaculate. And it's fully reversible, so you can go in, I think it's like a 10 minute procedure. They've done it in rabbits and it's a hundred percent reversible. And obviously like chimp studies and such. But yeah, I, I've been super fascinated by this for a while.'cause like as a guy you don't really have a lot of options besides like, vasectomy, condoms and not. A lot since those two options. And those were like, at least a quarter of century ago. So I think we got to step up technologically and really give men better options to take care of this issue. So I was really happy to talk to her and I really appreciated the time. Something I didn't mention during the interview that I wish I would've though is like. You know, it's personal to me as a guy.'cause when I was married, you know, I was, I remember being a part of the journey of my wife's like contraceptive steps of like, what feels best for your body, what makes you comfortable, what hurts the least? Like, obviously what's the most effective stuff like that. So, you know, I watched her go from having implant in the arm. Did a couple of those different dosages, different strengths and such different brands, obviously. And then found her way to a copper IUD and then just a low dose hormonal IUD. And both the copper and the hormonal one were really intense. And at the last insertion for the hormonal IUDI was in the room with her and ended up, I was holding her hand as she was like screaming in pain and like gripping my hand just incredibly intensely and. You know, you as someone who loves the woman going through that, you obviously don't wanna see that. Afterwards, she was even surprised they didn't offer her like a regional anesthetic or anything to numb the pain or the area. So yeah, it was super intense and. You know, we really do have to care enough as a society to get past the place of like needing abortions or having unwanted pregnancies. I really think we do have the technology or on the brink of having the technology to really control birth in a way that is so much more humane and offers more options that I think more people would be comfortable with that aren't as. You know, traumatic or difficult to deal with as some of the options out there currently? So yeah, I, I just hate any, anyone. I love going through pain is obviously super hard and it was a very brave thing that she did, and I was really grateful for that. But I wish that there was more that I could do besides just, you know, snip, snip vasectomy, permanence, and you know, the unwanted side effects that sometimes come from that. So. Yeah. I really care and I was happy to talk about it yesterday. it's a topic that men don't talk about at all together and Israeli talked about in general. I think so, yeah. Good stuff. Alright, so let's get to the beat of this episode. This is about dating. This is about my dating week. It's been crazy. Dating as an adult is insane. It's hard to meet people in person especially while you're working most of the time. So I'm using the apps like anyone else. I started with Hinge, Bumble, Tinder, and OkCupid, and now I'm just down to Tinder and OkCupid. Okay. But I, I'm not strongly using these. I am trying my best to be earnest and sincere and then seeing where the, the chips fall here. So, but it's weird, right? I mean, you put up. Like, like Tinder for example, is just pictures and then a couple blurbs about what you're looking for, stuff you're interested in, you know, keywords. You're basically keyword searching your soulmate in the most dystopian future way you could possibly imagine. Like. It is just surreal. It's like, it feels like the commodification of personality. It feels like, you know, even more so than being in person and trying to present the best of yourself so that someone may like you online, you know, you don't even have the benefit of the doubt of the person being in your company, right? So you're all words. You're all an image. You're. You're, you're maybe a soundbite now. Now you can put up a soundbite on like Tinder or answer a question and put up 30 seconds or something, so at least you may get a voice. But most people don't do that. It's mostly just text and images, and I think that's an insane first step to filter someone you think you may connect with. You know, there it's. Nice to have keywords that match up with your keywords. You know, like, oh, you like yoga, or you're into meditation, or whatever, like, you smoke weed. Great. We'll get along for that first aid. But like, you know, it's, it's hard to, it's hard to put yourself out there in a way that's just, feels like, you know, as a, as a man, it's like, you know, you swipe as much as you want and you just rarely, it's, it's just not as. You don't get as many matches as women. Right. And I've, I've talked to women who are like, yeah, I just have hundreds and hundreds of matches to go through and I don't even have time. So like, if you get a match as a guy, you're like, holy shit, this is amazing. But like. A lot of them for the last week for me have been like people, you know, like there's passport mode, right? And I'm matching with a lot of women from like Thailand and Kenya who want to, you know, meet up with me. And I'm like, look, I, no offense, but I don't think there's gonna be a enough of a connection to merit traveling thousands of miles for either of us. And someone was like, well, you know, never say never. And I'm like, I don't, you know, I don't have travel money to Ghana. I'm sorry. But yeah, it's, it's stuff like that. And then it's like. And you know, I would love to travel to Thailand. No question about that, but like it's just. Long distance dating is hard in general, and that could be as long distance as the next city over to states away to, you know, a country away, you know, like Mexico to us and maybe you travel back and forth. That's as insane as I could see it getting. Like if you have enough money to long distance dates someone and keep that going overseas, good for you.'cause that's, that's very intense. So, yeah, but I've been using these apps and I've had a number of hilarious experiences that I'm now gonna share with you. So, mom, dad, earmuffs nothing. Nothing too lured, nothing crazy, but I was rejected by four women in 24 hours last week. And it's funny how it happened and I'm gonna share it with you. Okay. You ready for this? Great. So. Let's start with just the least crazy to the most crazy. Okay. I matched with a woman named Kate and she was nice, fine attractive kind of thing where it seemed like she was just in town visiting for like the weekend, right? She's very straightforward, like, I'm looking for some hot fun. I'm like, hot fun's my middle name. She's like, cool you can meet me in my hotel later. And then she asked me, what all do you like sexually? Besides the grammar not being a turnon that's a hard question to answer, right? You, you're being put on the spot. And I, I thought at least dating was still somewhat like, Hey, we will meet up in person, see what the chemistry's like, and go from there. I didn't know we had to put out our, you know, fucking our, our our menu of what we're looking for right away. So anyway, this, it, it just feels weird answering that question via words, you know, and not even over anyway, very impersonal. Personal question. So what all do you like? I'm not gonna read you what I sent to her, but let's just say that like, I try to be a gentleman. I try to speak more to the experience of being with me than specific moves or kinks or anything like that. So, you know, I'm kinda laying a little bit of charm down. I'm saying, Hey, this is what the, it'll be like with me. This is what I want to do for you blah, blah, blah. Right? Never talks to me again. Doesn't say anything back. It, it was hours. I was like, God damnit, this is not happening. But like, how fucking, it's hard. It's hard to take that, right? You like, you put yourself out there, the last thing a woman says to you is, what all do you like sexually? And you're like, well, here's what I like. And she's like, right, well I'm not even say that's disgusting, or I'm not that, I'm just not gonna ever talk to you again. So anyway, yeah, she unmatched me. But. Actually she didn't, she didn't even unmatch me. She just didn't respond, and that was almost more hurtful. I'm like, what? Just, just say no. Just say you're not, just say, I'm disgusting, or just say you saw someone hotter. Please just tell me what I said Wasn't gross to you, that it's just that you found Chad and he is. On a different hap and he is gonna make you happier tonight. Please just tell me that that would feel so much better than thinking that I am Some disgusting cretin. Just pushing people away with my sexual proclivities, tame as they are and romantic as they are. Anyways, that was funny. That was the first one I. Then we come to date number two. What could have been date number two? Let's call her Sarah,'cause that was her name. Sarah matched with her. Standard, both attractive. Let's get coffee. Cool. Easy, right? Let's set up a coffee date. I am going to read you what was said between us. Because the end of this is so funny and I think you will find it funny. Okay, so keep in mind this is like three days, maybe this is what? Let me see. Yeah, I think it's like over the course of like three days. So like we match up, we say, Hey, let's get coffee. Switch to a different app. You know, talk until we go on our coffee date. Pretty easy, right? Hey, this is Sarah. Hey Sarah. Got any sleep? Ha about to. I'm a night owl at heart currently trying to switch my sleep schedule to something more sane. Grateful for this beautiful sunrise. My balcony faces though. How about you getting up like a normal person? LOL And this was very early in the morning. She says, ha ha, I'm getting six to seven hours sleep, but not like a normal person in Denver. I didn't fix my body clock yet. Gotcha. Then we'll get along. Great. Ha ha. Would you like to hang out sometime soon? If so, what works best for you? Sure. Be sure that'd be cool. We can grab coffee. Cool. Are you free Tuesday? I get done work at 3:00 PM I might not. Thursday works better for me. Okay, great. Okay, so this is like half verbatim, half what we're saying back to each other, right? Blah, blah, blah. She says Sleep Well Bunny, which is all right. There was no context for that pet name, but sure. Call me what you want. I said I'm, I'm going to bed. Really looking forward to meeting you, Sarah. Next day she's like, Hey, what are you doing? I'm like, Hey, I was heading to bartend and you sent that about to get done. Now heading home to Lyft and then podcast. How's your day? She says, all good. Two words. Cool. Then I say, you are a lady of few words. Sarah, LOL. Where would you like to grab coffee on Thursday? Then she says back, he, he, you not talking to me. Okay. I say, ha, fair enough. I'm about to record because I procrastinated well into the night. So no time to talk now, but I really am excited to talk more in person. She responds. Hmm. All right. I say LOL. I cannot read your responses tone at all, and it makes me chuckle. Then she says, sleep well. I'm like, okay. At that point I have literally no idea what's going on. She hasn't answered my questions. She's acting like I'm not talking to her, but I'm the one asking questions. She's not answering. Just weird. Anyway, so I, I say I'll send you a link when I post the app and then you can decide if you still want to meet me based on how I sound LO I'll sleep well too. So then I send her a link to this podcast. Just a funny move when you're trying to date someone to be like, Hey, here's who I am. You can listen to me as intimately as you want. You know, whatever, and put myself out there. So the next day she's like, how's your day going? And I said, good. Just hired. Need to stop doing homework the night before. LOL how are you? Haha. I am. All right. Cool. Okay. Nothing more that day. Okay. Wednesday night before we were gonna get coffee. Hey Sarah. Smiley face. Did you still want to grab coffee tomorrow? And if so, where? I work at three wouldn't mind being around my job, but if someone in particular, I wouldn't mind driving. You too. Hope you're having a great day. Okay, no response. Okay. Then Thursday, the day we're supposed to get coffee, I say to her a couple hours before I have to work, knowing that she's already gonna ghost me if I don't say something. So I say, Sarah, I was looking forward to meeting you. If you no longer wish to, could you please just let me know? Thanks. And she immediately says, yeah, I'm not sorry. Okay. I say, may I ask why? She says, you haven't been in touch and we haven't chatted enough. I don't feel a chemistry. Now, dear listener, I don't know how to convey how frustrating it is as someone who takes chemistry and vibes and in-person communicating very, very seriously and joyfully in my life, but to be told that there's no chemistry from someone who literally said two words when I asked her how her day is, and then accuses me of not talking enough, made me feel fucking insane. Okay. I don't know. Like I, I like. Oh my God. I was just so frustrated. I'm like, how do you like, and, and that's basically where it ended. And I said like, okay, thanks for letting me know, whatever, but like, how do you judge chemistry off of words on a phone, like. I don't, I don't even know how those, that that idea, that notion of chemistry makes it onto the digital space. Like I thought everybody knew like, oh, these apps are insane. We're not meant to do this as humans. This is a weird digital amalgamation of our desires that we're now trying to match with each other based on these few words and images. This is kind of weird, but we're all kind of participating, right? Knowing that the thing we wanna do is get off the app. Like you don't wanna be there, so you're. You know, you match up and then you get off and then you're excited to meet in persons and, and coffee is the most fucking benign thing you can ask anybody to do. It's like, yeah, we all like getting a little stimulated. Let's have a conversation in a public place with zero pressure, right? Middle of the day. It's, it's so to not get the baseline in-person thing and be told that you have no chemistry is like, I don't know what I was supposed to do. What, what, what, what song? What sonnet was I supposed to write you to keep you interested for the three days, you know? Distance between you being interested and then us meeting up in person. It's like, how could you let anything in that space besides me being disgusting via text or, you know, not having any sort of interesting things to say, you know, how could you make anything but that, like, reasons for not meeting up in person. It's just like. It's just weird, man. It's like, it's so hard to schedule things with people anyway, but when people have weird reasons to not meet up, I'm just like, what are we doing here? Like, the whole point of the coffee was to see the chemistry. Even five minutes in person would be more than three days of robustly texting and just having a blockchain of fucking, you know, a wall of text. And you're like, yeah, I don't, I I don't want to text you. I'm busy living my life. I, I would rather talk to you in person. That's the whole reason we're doing this anyway. Ran over on that. I just fucking, I can't even believe that that happened.'cause I'm like, what do you mean? Like you started off by calling me a genuine person. Like you seem like, like a really genuine person, Chris. Like I'm, I'll be happy to get coffee three days later. I say nice things and I'm not talking enough to you. Like I don't. Do, do women expect too much before they even meet me? Like, expect more when you meet me. Like expect the best after you meet me, but give me a chance to get there. You know, I'm busy in my real life. I, I don't have time to text you and ask about your day or your pets or your family. Like, I want to know those things, but not until we meet anyway, y'all get it? But that was date, almost date number two that didn't work out. Date number three, or should I say rejection number three? Or not really honestly, because I kind of rejected this one. But just a weird situation. So I matched with another woman named Tessa'cause that was her name. And, we match on one of the apps, switch to another app, which by the way, if you're dating online, know that that is a red flag. Like if someone wants to switch to another app that isn't just your texting app, giving your phone number and then going to texting, they're probably trying to sell you something or get you in a scam or murder you. Okay. So that's what almost happened to me. So let me see. Lemme get in the app here. Oh, shooting. No, not that one. That was a different one. Okay. She gives me her number. Cool. She's attractive. Very cool. Hard to get that combination women who match with you. Right? So, I say, Hey Tessa, this is Chris from OKC. Thanks for hitting me up. Wanna hang out sometime? You're gorgeous and I hope you're having a great day. You kind of get my vibe. Send a compliment, wish them well. Don't expect anything. Don't be weird. That's all I'm trying to do, right? Just send myself out there and, and see what I get back. She says, hi. How are you doing? It's fine. In what suburb are you located? Okay. That's a weird question. I'm doing great. Thanks. Got stood up by a date, but that just means I'm free tonight. Ha ha. Knowing I was, I was talking about the date I just told you about anyway, so that's hilarious. I tell her where I'm, where I'm located, I say, how about you? She says, oh, really? I'm right here in downtown LOL. And then I'm like. Okay, well this is a weird fucking chain of questions to ask right away what's going on. So I'm like, gotcha. I don't mind driving. I can meet up. I got wine and weed. I wanna see how the vibes are, blah, blah, blah. She says, okay. Oh, well, I'm actually up for fun. I offer cool sensual massage as well as a very good and satisfying sexual experience. Also, my naughty contents dot note I charge though. Oh God. Okay, so obviously I know I'm not gonna do anything with this woman from here on out, but I'm just curious. So I'm like, okay, no worries. What do you charge and what would that include? And what do you mean by naughty contents? Just curious. Smiley face. Alright. Please don't judge me for anything I'm saying. I'm sharing a lot with you and I'm trying to make it funny, but this is. Too surreal. So she sends back all sexual activities with no limitations. 200 for one hour, three 50 for two hours, 500 for five hours. Wow. I'd get half of my payment upfront to book you down and rest payments and cash After meetup there, you get access to all my nudes pictures, erotic videos, and others. And then she sends me a Dropbox link with. I, I, I'm not even gonna read what these say, but just all the listings of her videos and what they contain. And there's thousands, like in each category there's a thousands of this certain kind of video, and then 2000 of this other kind of video, and then 2,552 nude pics and 300 role role-playing videos and 1,755 sex tapes. Holy shit. I didn't even see that before when I read that. Anyway. Okay. And then I say back. Here's what I say back, and I'll read this because I, I, I hope this is, this is a constructive thing to say. I said, well, I appreciate you matching with me on OKC, hopefully on the basis that I was actually attractive to you, LOLI respect your hustle, but I don't pay for sex. I simply have a great time with whomever I'm with and make it worth their while. You are obviously quite beautiful. I'm sure you do very well for yourself. No judgment here at all. If you ever want to just. Spend non-transactional time with someone, feel free to reach out again. It'd be amazing to connect with each other. Otherwise, I wish you all the luck and a great rest of your night. Tessa, she said same here. Do have a good one. Now I read that to you to say that you know, even if you're in a weird situation and you're obviously not gonna do anything, and you know this person is. Trying to run a transaction with you that you are one of 50 people she's currently talking to? I think it's still important to be kind. I think it's important to be as nonjudgmental as possible and just, you know, let people do their thing and just say, Hey, it's just not for me. So yeah, that was just kind of frustrating'cause I'm like, damn, like she was really cute and why did it have to be selling me sex? Like, it just felt so gross. You know? I'm like, I'm not just. Attractive enough to meet someone who wants to have sex with me for the merits of my own body. Like even just to use me for my body. Just don't charge me for it. You know? Like that's, I'm a simple man, simple needs. But yeah, so, anyway, I, I just. It felt transactional enough already. It felt transactional in just putting myself out there. And obviously it's weird dating after being married for eight years or together with someone for eight years at all, but I'm trying and I. I don't know, man. That's just, that hit me in a weird way and it, it is hitting me again now, just remembering how it felt like to sit there and be like, I have a free night and I'm trying to schedule things with people and I'm trying to be sold sex. Like, is this what being an adult man is like, I'm just a mark. You know, like that's how it kind of feels. It kind of feels like, you know, you're either gonna get scammed or you're gonna get sold something or whatever. And like, anyway, the next story is gonna really exemplify that. Date number three. So this woman's name was Kelsey, and Kelsey was beautiful and she matched with me on one of these apps. And I wish I had saved the conversation that we had on the app because I didn't, I still have the conversation that happened when we went to texting, but the app got deleted and you'll soon find out why. Or the app conversation got deleted, I should say. So I matched with on the app and her only like bio about herself was like, so ticklish. I am like, this is weird, but you're cute. Sure. I'll swipe on you like you do on any weird, cute profile.'cause there's a lot of those. But this was just particularly empty and just said that. Okay. So then she matches back and a little later asks me like, so are you ticklish? And I'm like thinking this is a euphemism from the start. I'm like, ticklish. Something sexual. Certainly that's what this means. We're adults. Cool. So I'm like, yeah, I'm tickler. Sure. Like, what the fuck? Like Yeah, absolutely. I'm definitely definitely into what you're into and tickling is my game. And then, you know, do a couple more back and forths on this. But like, literally it's like questions like that where I think like, at best this is like some kind of innuendo. This is like her game, whatever, like, okay. And you know, again, just trying to find a normal date to hang out with on an evening, you, you put up with a lot. So, I'm just exploring this one and I'm like, okay. Like, yeah, you're tickled. You wanna get tickled. Oh, great. Okay. This is. Cool. Yeah, sure. I'm, I'm tick list too. I love getting tickled. Yeah, absolutely. Winky face, whatever. So, finally she gives me her number and we get off the app. Now this is where it gets hilarious, okay? Because this is someone who said on the app that they were single and that you know, they were going to chat with you as themselves. Okay? So she gives me her number, I text her, I say, Hey, it's Chris Smiley face. I get a response back that says, so you want to tickle my gf? Oh my God. It's just, it's at least it's fast. You know? When it slaps you in the face, when something is weird going on on online dating, it's like it happens pretty fast. And as long as you trust your gut, you should see it right away. But tell me if you notice that. I thought I was texting a woman named Kelsey and suddenly some guy was saying, so you want to tickle my gf? So what the hell do you say to that? So, I say absolutely. She seems to want me to tickle her and euphemism or not. I'm happy to oblige Who's this? And then he says, her BF great. And then unprompted, he sends me another picture of her, which Okay, great. As if to prove he's her bf. Great. So note that he sent me a picture of her. I didn't ask. Okay. Cool. Hey, bf, what's your name? He says, Joe, isn't she hot? I say, Hey Joe, nice to meet you. She's super hot. What's your situation together? You know, I was in an open marriage till it fell apart. I try to be open-minded, try to play the game of polyamory, ethical, non-monogamy, whatever you wanna call it. I'm an open-minded dude. I'm trying not to judge just seeing what the situation is. Okay. So I ask, what's your situation together? He says, I love seeing her tickled by older men. I can't tell you what it's, it is like going back and reading these as like these one-off statements. I love seeing her tickled by older men. Never read that sentence in my life. Never once have I thought that sentence, have I ever wanted that? Have I, okay. So I'm like, that's cool. How long have you been together? How often do you watch older men tickle your lady? He says weakens usually like. All right. And again, I'm just trying to stay open-minded, right? I'm like, alright, cool. So what do you and her want to happen and how can I be the best version of that for you both. Again, trying to be open-minded. Not saying I would do this. Just trying to get the vibe. He says, tickle her till she's crying. All right. God, mom, daddy, ear muffs. For real. Okay. This is the only lu thing I'll say. So I say do, do, do. Cool, can do. So if I'm reading this right, I come over, maybe smoke some weed or something, then I genuinely tickle your girlfriend until she cries and you'll be there the whole time he sends back. Yes. Then another unprompted picture of her in a car with a Gatorade bottle in a parking garage. Okay, so this could be her boyfriend, this could be someone who captured her. This is where I'm kind of my head's at right now. Alright, so then I say back gotcha. Does any of this involve actually having sex of any kind with Kelsey? Again, I'm not going to. Just curious. This is a hilarious situation. And he says no. Maybe finger her. All right. Again, I'm 37. Trying to date not in high school or college. So I say for sure, do I get anything in return besides the joy of tickling and perhaps fingering Kelsey? He says, no, I'm like LOL. All right. At least you're upfront about it. Then he says, do you want to tie her? And I'm not going to read the rest of this'cause that's about where the funny part end, but he sent me. Tied up tickling porn from UK tickling.com, which I know because the, the image she sent has that right in there. And it's literally a woman tied on a table being tickled with some state of euphoria or concern on her face. I really can't tell. Anyway, so this, this goes on, and I'm like, literally, this is like creeping me out. I'm like, I don't wanna talk to her boyfriend about any part of this, nor do I want to tickle anybody with, no, it's just, it's all weird, right? So I'm just like, okay, this is insane. Where's this going? So I'm like, nice, haha. You have one of those tables. And he's like, I wish, what's your favorite part there? And I'm like, what? And he is like, Ugh. And then he just gets like grosser and grosser and he says, where would you tickle first? And then, ugh, God. And he's just like. And finally I'm just like LOL, bro, just be honest. Are you catfishing me right now? This feels vaguely like that. Like, and then I'm asking the obvious questions like also, why would Kelsey put single on dating apps if she's not? And he's like, no. And I'm like, and then I ask a bunch of questions like, okay, how old are you? How long have you been dating? Do you cats live together? Are you trying to set something up just tonight or ongoing? Like. I, I, I want some answers. I don't want one word answers in this creepy situation. And then he says, Jesus not answering seven questions, kid. And I'm like, oh my God, kid buddy. Come on. Anyway, so I, I, I sent anyway, so basically I send back a reply that's like, this is hilarious. Like, I'm not doing this. You're weird, like, you know, whatever. And then he says, okay. Okay. Keep that in mind. So he ends with, okay, to my B basic game. This is weird. If you and Kelsey are legit, you should try bringing up this topic and, and presenting this less weirdly and creepily. But anyway, all the best to you. And he's like, okay. Okay. So that was on Thursday May 8th. Okay. I didn't say anything since then. On Sunday, mother's Day, he's texted back, okay. Wanna play with my gf? Oh my God. Could this get any fucking weirder? I already said I feel like you're catfishing. I don't think she's real. Why are you sending me pictures of this woman? Like in that, you know, she doesn't have on her profile, you clearly could have like poached these from someone's profile and is using them to lure men to your house. Like it's all fucking weird and creepy and I'm glad I trusted my gut on this. Okay, so that was on Sunday Now, today is Tuesday. I get an email today, no joke that says the following. I. This is hilarious. Okay. Hey Christopher. At OkCupid, we respect and appreciate every member and work behind the scenes to cultivate a safe and positive experience. Recently, we just continued Kelsey's account due to what appears to be fraudulent behavior. We are letting you know because you exchanged messages with this member I. As a safety reminder, we strongly advise against sharing personal financial information or sending money to other members, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, basically, thanks. OK Cupid team. So vindicated as fuck. This guy probably was a murderer. He probably was fucking getting luring men over and, and did hacking them up, tying them to a table. He doesn't know what Kelsey like. He calls himself Kelsey, as he ties you to his table and puts on a wig and tickles you until he fucking murders you. Like, that's what's going on. Like, don't get it twisted. These fucking psychos are out there. Anyway, so I just, I'm so glad I avoided that, and obviously that was weird and all this is personal and weird, and I hope it's okay to share this, but it's just fucking funny. Like I'm, I'm sharing this because I think it's funny not to be too, too out there, but yeah. This is what it's like to adult date. Okay. Okay, so last, the last one. So the icing on that cake. So that was the four women, right? We had, we had Tessa, Kelsey Kate and Sarah didn't work out the other night. I had the pleasure of seeing a, a friend of mine and this friend has a very attractive friend. I. Who's also an artist, and I was really happy to meet her that night. She was over at this friend's house, we're hanging out smoking joints, seemed to have a good vibe after she leaves, I'm like, oh man, she was really cool in person. I'm really glad I met her. I would love to go out with her sometimes. Something like that. And then my friend was like, oh, do you want me to inquire about like, you know, if she thinks you're cute or likes you or would do that, or whatever. And I'm, you know, casually, I'm like, yeah, sure. Whatever. I don't care. Yeah, that's exactly how I sound now. Please tell me, she'll go out with me, please. I'm desperate. Those, I'm like, whatever. Like I'd be happy to go out with her. And then after these four insane situations from online dating, the only in-person prospect where I'm like, oh, we actually hung out. You know, we smoked weed together. Things went well. She laughed at my jokes. You know, I got a real in-person sense that I might have a shot or it could work out. Literally after the coffee date doesn't work out, I'm heading to work. And this friend texts me like, oh, by the way, my friend's not interested. Like, it just says that, like flat out. So that was the icing on my shitty 24 hours of dealing. Well, not entirely. It's like it all came to a head a, a crescendo in the same 24 hour period. But obviously all the stories you heard happened over a number of days in the same week, but holy shit, what a week, man. Like. You try to put yourself out there, you try to, you know, especially in person, like any in person interaction, I feel anything towards, I'm like, oh my God, please be something. Please work out. Can we at least try to get coffee together? Like, you seem really cool in person. You know, we seem like we have a vibe. That's the thing you care about most, right? So all the other online ones are just like pretty low investment, you know? Hilarious. Interactions almost, you know, getting murdered interactions, but, you know, thankfully didn't. But the in-person ones matter a little more.'cause that, those are the ones where you're like, okay, I actually saw you with my own eyes. I felt your presence. I heard your voice, whatever. So, you know, it was just kind of a bummer, man. I was like, kind of pissed, just like, fuck. I can't take like five different women who are all like, eh, eh, not for me. Or, you know, can I sell you sex? Or, Hey, I'm actually a dude. Can I murder you in my home? Tied to a tickle bench. No, the tickle table, my bad, that's probably what they call it. Come into my Leia and crawl upon my tickle table. Nobody like that. I'm, I apologize. Anyway. So, yeah, those are my stories this week and I hope they're entertaining. But here's my last call, last call to action this week. Put yourself out there, preferably in person. You do not have time to let these opportunities for courage pass you by. Ask out that cute person in your life without caring what they say or where it might go. And the example of this is after all this nonsense happened, you know, and I'm feeling pretty jaded about adult dating. I'm not sure what I'm trying to do or what, you know, if anyone's real online or they're not just an AI chat bot trying to scam me. But you know, there's this beautiful woman I've, I've peripherally known for a number of years really just hadn't seen her for a couple years and then she came back into my life and, you know, the other day I just kind of turned and asked her to get coffee and, you know, it, it meant something to me because when I when I catch eyes with her or she smiles at me, like, I feel that like fluttery warm feeling in my chest and it like, makes me smile all over, if that makes sense. I'm smiling now just thinking about her. But anyway, she's really cute and just has a beautiful personality that I don't know nearly well enough. So I was just like, Hey, do you wanna grab coffee sometime? Like, I really don't know you. And that was kind of the vibe. And she was like, yeah, sure. And I asked her for her number and actually already had it. So kudos to me for being courageous enough to ask again, even though I hadn't even looked to see if I had it. But I had it for another reason from years ago. But yeah, so I don't know. I'm really excited about that one. And another thing too is like, as these situations have taught me and hopefully teach you dear listener, you know, like I. You'll have to encounter all this weird shit no matter what. Like, putting yourself out there means putting yourself in position to be vulnerable, to be exposed, to share things like your sexual proclivities or your, you know, your turnons, your turnoffs, your, the things that actually like move you in your heart and your body things that matter to you. So, you know, as this podcast is a courageous act of me putting myself out there and sharing all this shit with you, hopefully for your entertainment, you know, I hope you, dear listener, just know that, you know, you have the opportunity to be as courageous as you want to every day, in every moment. And that could be personally courageous, but what I'm talking about right now is. You know, going through your life and just being quietly desperate to say a thing or to, to ask the person out or to, to get to know someone. You know, even if they're dating someone and you're just like, I'm attracted to you and I want to be friends. Like, can we be friends? Does it have to have this weird like connotation of, you know, oh, I don't have male friends because I'm taken, or I don't have female friends for the same reason. Like, that's nonsense. And you know, relationships are what we make them, and friendships are what we make them. And sex is what we make it. And I think all these things can be done way healthier. And I'm trying to be a part of the solution on all these things. But yeah I was just really happy that I did and I have no idea where it's gonna go. And I'll, I'll keep you updated if that goes anywhere, but man, I can, I have one coffee date, please. Maybe she'll cancel. I'll be like, fuck. But yeah, I'm really glad I asked her and she makes me happy and I really wanna get to know her better. But anyway, so, yeah, keep excited about people, keep excited about yourself and dating, and know that you don't need anyone to be fulfilled. Remember that? That's something I had to learn too. You know, it's hard to be alone, but you don't always have to be lonely. You know, I, I heard something really wise the other day. It was like, there's a difference between loneliness and solitude. You know, two things from a different perspective, you know, observed a different way. The same thing can be completely different and feel completely different. And you know something, I'm realizing that while I have. You know, certain days where I just feel more lonely than not, or I wish I, you know, could get laid more. I wish someone was just in my life to share laughs with more. You know, you, you miss certain things in different times, right? But it's a, it's a beautiful thing to really fall in love with the solitude of your life and of your own mind and, and your own self and your heart, and, you know, other people, while amazing to have in your life can often be voices that drown out your own inner voice a little bit. And that's something I had to learn with being, you know, slightly codependent in my last relationship and just not being as independent as I needed to be. And certainly as I feel now, you know, just I'm my own man and I don't need any of these dates to work out in order to feel good about the night I'm having or good about the direction of my life. I just have a lot of love and I wanna share it, you know? So I think that's kind of the vibe we should all come from. You know, just recognize the joy and the love you have within yourself. Make sure you're opening yourself up to be vulnerable and share that without, you know, fear of what people will say or fear of rejection or of not getting the outcome you want. You know, a stoic practice I'm following right now is just don't be attached to the outcome, right? Do the right thing right now without guarantee of the outcome you want. So, yeah, I think that's a good last call for this week. Alright. Please subscribe and rate the show in whatever app you're using. Be a part of the pride and help it grow. Feel free to leave a review and please share with someone you think would like the show. It would really mean a lot to me. I. Once again you can be a part of this experience. You can call in at(720) 515-7218. Leave a message. Let me know if you have a story to share or advice to ask for. You can also email me for the same reasons at Service Animals roar@gmail.com. Thanks so much for hanging out with me. I don't take your time or attention for granted, and I hope you feel respected and better for sharing it with me. So until next time. Stay wild my friends.