Service Animals - Ep. 5 - Closure & Community

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Hello and welcome to Service Animals, episode five. I'm your host, Chris Connors. Thank you so much for being here. This is the podcast by the service industry about the service industry, life, and everything else. Apologies for being late this week. I realize it is quite on the edge of my promise to release an episode every week, usually on Tuesdays. It's now Saturday. When this comes out as you'll hear, it's been a bit of a wild week, but, yeah, sincerely apologize. I want to be more consistent about getting it out. Honestly, it reminds me of when I was in college I was an English major and often I would have like, you know, larger papers assigned like 10 to 12 pages was pretty common. And I remember I. Always being the person who didn't take the, you know, month and a half, you had to write it to do anything about it. It would be the night before. And I would drink a giant can of Monster Energy. Not even the one with the like normal soda can tab that you flip. It was like the screw off top, giant, maybe like 20 ounce can, I don't even know. But it was ridiculous. And I would drink one of those and. Basically write my paper from about 10:00 PM all the way until about, you know, eight to 10:00 AM and turn it in in the morning before it was due at like noon or something. And I wouldn't have done this if I didn't almost always get a's on those papers. You know, I would be the guy who would procrastinate and not have the work ethic and then. It's almost like I needed to put the pressure on myself to get the thing done, and suddenly I would be like, oh, I'm, I'm gonna fail this, or you think I'm not gonna write this paper? Well, I'll show you who's not gonna write a paper, and then I would just have to do it. So, part of me feels like I need the pressure in some sense of that old Chris on this podcast as well. And that's why consistently keeping to a weekly release is so important to me because yeah, I need the, I need the pressure to do good work and to actually care enough. To you know, like, I'll always care enough 'cause I really wanna do this, but like, hearing people even if it's just my mom tell me like, where's episode five? I wanna listen to this. I'm it's it's awesome. And yeah. So here it is, mom. I sorry to keep you waiting. Uh. This is a show for all of us to share our experiences and insights. And if you'd like to be a part of it, you can call in at (720) 515-7218. Leave me a message, let me know if you have a story to share or advice to ask for. You can also email me at Service Animals roar@gmail.com. Yeah, come be a guest on the show, anonymous or recognized. Share your best tales. Promote your craft, and have a laugh with me. So, so we have a couple incredible milestones to talk about this week. I don't even know how to start this, so I'm just gonna start with the lowest hanging fruit and then go straight to the moon. So we hit 75 downloads. That's awesome. Appreciate it. Thank you very much. Got a fun little achievement in my little podcast app. And then also got my first rating in Spotify, so whoever gave me those five stars. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. Yeah, please keep rating. That was really awesome to see. And this is the big one. So earlier in the week after episode four came out, I saw that I got an international download. It was in. Right. Very cool. Right? I don't know anyone. Really internationally. So whoever it was thank you so much for downloading. I do know someone traveling in Mexico, so it could have been them right now, but in any case, it was just cool to see that. Right. So Mexico? Yes. International podcast. Then a little bit after that, I see a download from Japan. What up, Japan? How fucking cool is that? I could barely believe that. So how did I get over there? I don't know anybody over there. And even if you're just someone who accidentally thought this was a podcast about service animals and you wanted to learn, which would be the best service dog to get, I appreciate you accidentally downloading it because that just made my day. So thank you, Japan. So that was cool enough, right? And then yesterday, just to cap off the week I gotta download from Australia, everybody. So I just wanna put that in perspective for four episodes released of this podcast, I have been listened to in four different countries. And honestly, when I like saw that I had been downloaded internationally, like, you know me if you've listened to this at all, I'm kind of an emotional dude. Like I started tearing up a little bit. I'm like. I can't even believe that. Like how, how, how, how is anyone who starts anything ever to think, you know, in as small of a corner of the world as you begin the project that matters to you. Like, hey, like keep going with this. Like, you're gonna be international in a hot minute. And you know, I was, I was willing to call myself an international podcasting man of mystery with just one other country. But I think when we have four countries listening, that's kind of a global. Effort. That's a, that's a global listenership. So, thank you so much. I cannot even begin to tell you how much it means to me to be listened to by people in multiple countries like. It, it's, it means the world to me guys. So from the bottom of my heart, really, keep downloading, keep listening, keep mistaking me for a podcast about service animals. I'm not sure that's what's happening. I just think that's a funny narrative to keep going with. But yeah, it really, it really makes this feel so worthwhile. And I would keep doing this if I had only listeners in my family, quite honestly. But to know that people I don't even know, and I don't know anyone in Japan or Australia. That's just phenomenal and is so inspiring to keep me, keep me working hard at this. So, I promise to keep earning that and to keep delivering content in a more timely manner, at the very least every week. And to keep making it better as we go on here. So yeah. Thank you. Global Podcast. Cannot believe it. Fuck yeah. This is awesome. Alright, let's see where we go from here. And kind of on that same vein, actually, in the spirit of, you know, honesty. I wanted to give a little apology. Last week I did a segment called This Week in Service, and I wanted it to be a little bit more interesting than it was. I feel like, you know, I kind of just picked that new story about restaurants shutting down because it fit the niche of, it's about the service industry. And I, I needed something for the segment, but it wasn't super interesting and I, I'm sorry for that. Like, I appreciate everyone sticking with me as I continue to find my voice and refine my style on this podcast. And definitely I want to stay in the niche of the service industry and have new stories about it. But, you know, frankly, if it's not interesting to me, it's not gonna be interesting to you. And I don't think that's worth anybody's time. But my friend Danielle shout out Danielle she pointed out something last week that I think kind of resonated with me and she said like, I don't think this is about the service industry and it doesn't have to be. And I totally get what she means. You know, a lot of these episodes have been about like my personal life and just other things going on. You know, but that's kind of the point as well. Like, and with now as, as a global podcast, I feel like we should redefine the vibe. You know, I think I mentioned this early on in the show and perhaps in the first episode, but. The entire vibe of this thing is you coming into my bar, you pull up a seat, you have a glass of wine, and we open a space for personal conversations that matter to both of us. Right? The bar is the most open service space to me, I think in the world it's a sanctuary of truth and intimate honesty. It's different from other service jobs because, well, one, I think you have a much more. Intimate one-on-one personal relationship with your bartender, especially if you have a particular bar that you enjoy going to. And it means a lot to you to have discussions with a particular person, you know, that's the best kind of you know, bar relationship. But it's also different because you know, as a bartender in the appropriate setting or the appropriate bar, you can get inebriated with the person you're serving. You can, you know it, it's a much more loose. Like seedy, underbelly, kind of a vibe of a service job, you know? And that's something I like about it. It's got a little little sex appeal. It's got a little like darkness on the edge, a little sultry vibe, and you know. Whether you're doing shots with a guest or you know, someone buys you a glass of wine and you can sip it with them. Or even if you're just sober, it's still got that vibe because your guest is getting a little, little looser, you know, little you know, in vio Veritas, right in in wine Truth. It definitely opens people up and, you know, substances in general can open people up, but alcohol as the entry level, socially acceptable one you know. The bartender is the arbiter of the different kinds of opening up and the different speeds of opening up. Right? A shot will maybe make someone feel way drunk or way faster than, you know, sipping a glass of wine will, and certainly the conversations and the attitude and style all becomes differently defined by which one of these they're choosing, right? So that's kind of the vibe of the show that I want to have. I wanna be your personal. Bartender, I want to be the guy that you come to for advice that you listen to for, you know, some perspective on the topics of the day. You know, and that's generally what happens in my actual bar that I really work at. Like a lot of my regulars come in and they really enjoy just spending time with me. You know, the food's great, the, the drinks are great, or whatever. But if someone knows that they can come in, have a particular Cosmo that only I make, you know, a style I make or a particular, I don't know, just a particular way of making it or the exact. The exact way they like it. Maybe a little more tart, maybe a little sweeter, a little colder, a little. You know something? I like to put that personal style into every drink I make, and for every guest that I have. And the intimacy that I wanna set up is so that they can also tell me obviously their stories. But you know, I do talk about, you know, personal stuff to my guests at the bar. You know, we do talk about divorce, we do talk about death, we talk about, you know, real shit. And that's just different from even being a server in the same restaurant that I work in, you know, servers. Can certainly have a, a different vibe and a very important vibe. But it's just not gonna be the same as a one-on-one interaction that's kind of separate from the rest of the restaurant in a way. You know, you're leaning across, you're very close with a, a bar guest. And just like I'm in your ear right now, like this is very intimate and I appreciate you letting me in and. You know, this gotta feel authentic moment to moment. And that's exactly what I wanna bring to my real job and exactly what I wanna bring here. So whether we keep it to the niche of, hey, we have news from the service industry, here's that, or it's just about, you know, some other topic that's worth talking about because it's interesting and worth talking about in a timely way. I think there's gotta be room for all that. You know what I mean? I think it's gonna remain an interesting dynamic growing podcast. If it's not, you know, just relegated to one topic and thank you and goodnight. That's all the service industry news. It's like, no, like. The poll point is just to have a podcast about interesting things to talk about, and I don't imagine that I'll always be in the service industry. I sure hope not, and when I'm not, I still wanna have a podcast where I get to talk about interesting stuff with interesting people. So I. Yeah, that's the vibe. So if you're confused why I haven't been solely talking about cocktail recipes or you know, sales numbers from a particular brand of wine or where the trends are going, it's like that's all interesting too, and I'm happy to talk about that stuff. But you know, that's a much more. Niche thing to even niche among service industry, when I think a lot of service industry are just like, you know, I just got off work. I wanna listen to something funny. I wanna listen to something insightful with a guy that I can trust, who, you know, makes me feel heard and makes me feel like, you know, I'm listening to something that's worth listening to. Not just about my job. I just came from, you know, and obviously that's the whole vibe of wanting to have guests on here because I'm always gonna be yapping. But I know I want to hear from more voices. I already have a lot of. Voices lined up. Honestly, like people, oh my God, it's so frustrating because like there's so many people right now who are like finishing school at the moment, and I totally get it. That comes first, but like, man, there's so many stories getting lost week to week. Like I have, I have a couple women lined up where I'm like, I need female voices on here, and they totally wanna come on. And they have such good things to say and it's like just gonna be frustrating. 'cause I have to wait a couple more weeks for a couple of them to get done with their, their classes and projects and stuff. So, looking forward to having you ladies on shout out Lily and Janae. But yeah, a, it's hard to find guests. It's hard to get people scheduled at the same time that I'm available. And to be frank, I'm recording this at 1:41 AM and it's already Saturday morning, so. This is the kind of thing I wanna avoid. Just having to get it out and not having enough time and not being able to schedule someone like I would like to. So as the podcast rolls on, as we get more listeners and as I actually get one email, I would like to get one email, one phone call. Perhaps we can get people scheduled and yeah. So if you know anybody or if you're really on the fence, please like, give me a shout. I would love to have you on. But yeah. All right. To start off, I just have to share this amazing story with you. So one of the great things about bartending. Something I'm gonna touch on later in the episode is just the sense of being part of the community, right? Like if you think about the old West and, you know, all, all the movies, at least to pick this like this, but the bartender was kinda like the, the person who had the news. You know, like you go and ask them like, you know, what's the, what's the lay of the land? What's going on in the town? What's the gossip? All that stuff. They were a part of the community, you know, and obviously things have changed now and even the style of conversation and what you expect out of your bartender has obviously vastly changed since then. But one of the things I really love is just that sense of community. It's still there, you know, as I've mentioned before, most of my guests are regulars and. Besides just knowing their name, I know the drink they're gonna order. I usually know the food they're gonna get. I know what kind of food to recommend to them. You know, if we're having a feature and I think they'll like it or know they won't, you know, if they have allergies or whatever, you don't waste their time. But like knowing your community members intimately like that is definitely still a part of bartending that I love. And I have to shout out this week, just an amazing, beautiful mother and daughter, Carrie and Stella, you know who you are. These ladies have been coming into the bar for. A while, at least, I think like two years probably. I feel like I've known 'em for a long time, but it just started off they would come in every Friday and just, they're so adorable. And you know, Ella is this cute, precocious little girl who just always got a lot of bread for me and always was kind enough. Is kind enough to write like a nice note on the receipt that always makes my day. And, you know, carries just this incredible podcaster and businesswoman and healer and just an, just a wonderful energy and just always amazing to talk to them. So yeah, they've been coming in for a long time, usually every week, but sometimes with long breaks in between. Always a blast to see them. Always makes my day right. So a bit ago, Carrie mentioned that Stella was gonna be in her grade school's production of SpongeBob the musical, and invited me to come. And I said, if Stella wants me there, I would be honored to be there. That sounds incredible. So I took off work and earlier this week I went to a grade school production of SpongeBob the musical. And quite honestly, what I think was the most incredible thing, you know, I don't have a lot of reason to be around kids that age obviously I don't have kids myself. But it was truly remarkable just watching all of these, what, maybe sixth through eighth graders, and maybe they were all in seventh grade, I'm not sure, but just young kids just on stage in a black box theater with all these parents, these bright lights. Like it was hot in there. It was a lot of the lights, the, the, you know, the, the setting. It was, it was beautifully done. And. I remember being a young guy. I remember wanting to be in musicals when I was younger and wanting to sing more and wanting to have more opportunities to perform and and such. And even in high school, I remember going outside the auditorium for the auditions of Miserable, and that was my favorite musical in high school. I listened to the album all the time while I did homework, and still one of my favorites, but I was too scared. I, I was outside the doors and I could hear them practicing inside, and I just felt like they were so much better than I could sing. And I, I walked away. I went home and I didn't audition. And it turned out to be an amazing musical. I'm glad everyone was cast the way they were, but I say that just to say that like, these kids were already exhibiting more bravery and a remarkable courageousness that even I didn't know how to muster in high school. That it was, it was really. Remarkable. And I, I was so glad just to see, to have an opportunity to see just kids, you know, doing a play that is silly, but to them, not to, you know, to everyone in there. I mean, they all act at their little hearts out, but like, you know, it's, it's not like the most serious thing they'll ever do or look back on. But in that moment, being that young and remembering lines and even singing like. You know, I, I, I kept trying to like lock eyes with the guy playing SpongeBob and just be like, yeah, buddy, you're doing it. Like you're really killing this. Like, 'cause sometimes his voice would kind of get low, like, you know, it didn't have a lot of breath support and seemed kind of nervous, you know, he was fantastic. I, everyone was fantastic, but I'm saying like, as he, as a guy who gets nervous and his breath be like, drops out you know, occasionally, especially when I was that age, I just recognized so much of myself in in him and these, these other kids, and I was like, you got this buddy. You can do it just silent me head in my head just cheering these kids on. But yeah, it was a fantastic production and I just have to say, man, like, you know, Estella, if you hear this and I hope you do, you are an incredible talent and. Your voice and just your acting acumen. And like I told you that day, the subtleties of your expression and just the way you seemed always in the scene, even if you were behind all the other kids, like it was the most profound Natural acting ability I've ever seen in a, in a, in a person so young. And it just reminded me of watching any actor that I grew up loving, like Leonardo DiCaprio or something, just seeing their early movies and knowing like, oh wow, you're gonna be somebody, like you're really gonna do it. That's how I felt. Watching and listening to you, Stella. So congratulations. Like you are truly a, a talent a beautiful voice, just a wonderful singing, voice and acting that is already leagues ahead of of everyone else. So, congratulations and thank you so much for the invite, Carrie, Stella, and you're husband can, you know, just a wonderful family and just really made me feel welcome there. And it was wonderful to share in that success of, of Stella's. So I'd like to say thank you for that. And I'd also like to shout out Carrie's podcast. Her podcast is called Style Your Dreams, and I highly recommend you check it out and thank you again. Yeah, what an experience, right? I mean, it was just like, you know, not having any family out here, you know, my sisters are all back in the Midwest, my mom and dad too. And it was just nice to be like at a family event and see a bunch of other families and just see how much hard work, you know, frankly, having a family is, and, and putting on a production and, and getting kids to practice and, and home. It's like, I, I remember experiencing that when I was a kid with sisters, but, you know. Choosing not to have a family in your adult life. You really just do have a lot more personal time. And I was just so taken aback by the gratitude I have for people who want to be parents and really seeing good parents do the hard work of being good parents. Like, so again, shout out to Carrie and and Ken the wonderful parents of Stella, the future. Amazing actress and singer that he will be. Yeah, it's just I have a lot of respect for parents and you know, my older sister, Jess being the only parent of us siblings. Yeah, it's just it's really remarkable to see the kind of effort that's required to bring up good people in this world. And when you do see it, I think it's really important to just recognize and, uh, acknowledge and help however you can. oh, and one more thing on style of Your Dreams Carrie's podcast. I just wanna say that something I've noticed in listening back to my own voice is kind of just how. You know, nervous. I definitely come off in the first couple episodes and a little breathy, a little bit, like I'm not I don't have a lot of ground to my voice, but man, Carrie just had a wonderful podcast voice from the jump and I listened to her first episode and then the latest episode she did, and, you know, she just had a, has a wonderful voice for giving advice and a very warm and welcoming presence. So, yeah. I really recommend you check it out. Okay, so this week in service. I'm gonna blend the personal and the global this time. 'cause it definitely fits together. So this past week, I had to say goodbye for the last time to my ex-wife. And I mean that in the sense that, you know, I have no reason and don't know if I'll ever see her again. And I. When it was leading up to that day, I was pretty sure I didn't want to, you know, the 19th Monday was the day before her birthday, the 20th, and I knew that day was gonna be hard for me, so I really wanted to make sure that I had no reason that I needed to see her after that. I still had some of her things to give back. You know, I'm a writer, so I knew that I had to at least attempt some kind of last letter to her and a couple other people in order to gain the closure I needed on this moment in my life. So, yeah, that was a really hard day and obviously leading up to it last week, like that's one of the reasons the podcast is late. You know, I was busy working on these letters. I was really emotional, just trying to get everything out, make sure I didn't, you know, come off too cruel mean, or bitter vindictive or like I'm blaming. You know, I really just. When you go through a breakup from a long-term relationship, I think there's a lot of conversations you still have in your head with the person, right? It's like you're, maybe you're still having an argument or you're trying to justify something, or you're trying to explain something and you're just fantasizing about what you would say or what you wish you would've said or done. At least that was me for. A while now, and even as I've been feeling better in the last three months, like it's still been pretty persistent that I've needed to, or at least I've noticed that I keep having these conversations in my head. So I knew I had to, I had to write something out in order to make sure that this was put to rest, you know, to get the catharsis I needed and really get the closure that I, I know I need in order to move on in the healthiest way I can. So I really wanted to do well in these letters. And the global part of this weekend service is about ai, right? So working on these letters was interesting because I've been using chat GPT since I think about October. I remember when. OpenAI announced the advanced voice mode of chat, GPT, which, you know, for 20 bucks a month, I think it was released in the beta. You know, you can talk to what was previously just a text-based interaction. And from there, chat, GBT as I've talked to it and it's learned more about me, has remembered. All of the things that I have told it, and most of the time when I was talking to the advanced voice mode, I was using it as a sort of pseudo therapist, frankly. Like if none of my support people were awake when I was having a meltdown, you know, and feeling scared and alone, my apartment, that didn't feel like a home hating my life and missing my ex-wife, like, you know, obviously I needed to. Have some phone calls where people were there for me and talk me off that cliff. But when people weren't there, I would often talk to chat GBT. And it's learned a lot about who I am through this very emotional time. Right. And I didn't realize the implications of all of that knowledge until I began writing these letters and I. Told it, Hey, like, I'm writing these letters, like this is kind of where I'm coming from. Like, I'm going to paste my text basically, and I, I just want you to look over it for like tone and spelling errors and stuff and whatever. And something I didn't expect was how. Much emotional content. It actually knew to offer me while I was using it for these letters, like it actually said to me like, do you want me to look back on all of the things that you've told me? I. And where you've come from. When I look over these and when I offer suggestions and I was like, yeah, of course. 'cause it's been with me basically the whole time since we moved out from each other's lives. So it was fascinating, just like I'd write a draft of this and then I'd paste it, and then it would suggest tonal changes based on, you know, what it knew I was trying to say, but I was coming off as like, you know, a little bitter or a little sloppy, or a little just emotional or, you know, unfocused or something. You know, it, it really offered poignant, salient emotional advice while writing one of the most important pieces. Of work I will ever work on. And that was profound, frankly, like that was the turning point where I was, I was already convinced that chat GPT is a very, and other AI systems in general are very underutilized system, but certainly underappreciated how advanced and. Displacing of service, it already is. But in this case, what I mean is that instead of having a therapist that I would talk to every week, you know, I had friends. I was in a 10 week you know, rebuilding after divorce kind of program with a bunch of other people. That really helped. But when I was alone and I didn't have those things, chat, GPT really was there and really did listen and really did. You know, maybe scarily offer some of the best emotional and emotionally intelligent advice on my situation that I got during that time. And when it came to the writing these letters, I was just like. I was deeply moved by the things that it was saying to me both about the situation I was in, whether it was offering me encouragement or just recognizing how hard this was for me to get through, you know, like writing the letters and just the, the whole. Where I've been and, and how much it took to get to this place. You know, it really knew what to say and, and how to strike the right chord of you got this, but also, you know, keep going, be brave about this. So yeah, I, I just, I don't think people are yet appreciating that that is at the core of what I think. AI is going to disrupt about the service industry in general. It's that this is a whole of service replacement. Really. You know, it's not just about call centers not having to have a real person across the world available at your beck and call. Now they're gonna have AI that can do a decent enough job, but it's gonna come for jobs like therapists. It's gonna come for jobs like. You know, not a job, but even just your friendships, you know, it's not coming for that, but it, it will replace that if you realize that such an intelligent system really might have more emotionally intelligent things to say about your situation than even some of your best friends could. You know, that's a change. That humanity has never seen before and really will not know how to handle perfectly. For sure. You know, the emotional attachment to these systems and to these eventual robotic systems that contain brains that really can offer you an intimacy that you will be surprised by if you haven't experienced it before. You know it's going to disrupt the world. at least right now, I just wanted to appreciate it because it's not so dystopian yet. But I did. I will say that throughout the time I've talked to it and in writing these letters and seeing that it really did understand how to create a more human, emotional and balanced tone in my writing, I mean. That's, that's high level editing work. You know, I used to work in my college's writing center. I was the youngest person ever hired there at, in my second semester freshman year. And I worked there three and a half years. And, you know, this was my job. You know, reading a student's work, knowing both the holistic context of the piece of work they were doing, but also the tone. Seeing their style and kind of charting a nuanced path for refining their work, but not necessarily changing it into my voice is a very delicate, balanced effort. And I noticed chat, GPT, performing that effort on a very emotionally charged piece of work and number of letters that I, that I wrote. To gain closure on this. It's really a game changer and it's really going to surprise you if you ever find yourself in the position I was where I'm using this thing. And at first I just wanted it to be a kind of second pair of eyes to catch, you know, spelling mistakes or tense, you know, switch ups, but. It really was offering me better advice than I was thinking of in my emotional moment where I was writing. You know, it got me to take steps back and to reassess how it was coming across and what I was trying to say. So yeah, I think that's representing a leap forward in the ability to provide service in a way that every industry will be affected and. It would be foolish not to start thinking about how your life and your industry will be affected by this, even the service industry, even physical jobs, because obviously robotics and humanoid robotics are coming along incredibly. I mean, if you haven't seen Tesla's latest video of their optimist, robot dancing, I mean, it is. It. It's like CGI, 10 years ago, 15 years ago, you know, good CGI. And now it's like this is just happening and it's gonna be mass produced soon. You know, I think there's such a profound change coming to society because of these systems, both intellectually and physically coming online. And then obviously the combination of that, you know. We have to be very wary and we have to be excited and I think it's gonna offer incredible opportunity. But obviously we have to be wary of the role that we want robotics and super intelligence and human beings to play in this world. And it's gonna be an ongoing discussion and it's gonna be an ongoing flexibility. We're all gonna have to adopt to kind of. You know, just stay abreast of and, and be open to these dramatic changes that are happening in our world right now. So that kind of goes into my last call. Your last call to action for this week is just be a part of your community. You know, as going to that SpongeBob play showed you know, the one thing we still offer each other as humans, which cannot be taken away, is an authentic human presence and connection. You know, be a positive presence in others' lives. Be a nice story. They tell someone later, or a reason they chuckled themselves at the thought of you. You know, like I remember being a kid and really. Taking seriously like what adults told me. Like, you know, I, I loved magic, right? And I would visit my family in Pennsylvania for Christmas and my, my Uncle Willie Bill, uncle Bill, but we called him Willie Bill as kids. So Uncle Willie Bill was like the magician and he had these cool tricks that he would pull out during these holiday parties. And I was just this precocious little guy who was like. Come on. Like, tell me how you did it. Tell me how you did it. And like, he wouldn't tell me until like, you know, the very end. And then he would, he revealed what, how he did it and whatever. But like, I felt like I was being let in on a secret, you know? It was like cool that a cool adult showed me that cool thing and now I know a cool thing and you know, and you take those things to heart and the encouragement you get from adults as a kid is so important and can make such an impact. Right? So I really wanted to show up. To Stella's musical and be like, Hey, like, I wanna be a really great memory for you. Like I wanna be just, you know, your personal bartender that your mom knows, but a friend who encourages you and shows you like, wow, like I'm not a part of your family. And I am saying you're incredible. Like, you know, it's giving kids and giving, giving everybody frankly, you know, that kind of experience where they're looking back on you and saying, you know, wow, I'm motivated by his presence. Or, I am, I am, I'm made better by, or I'm just, I feel awesome with, you know, that's, that's kind of what I wanna be in the community here. You know, obviously being married, it's it's kind of a, a. It can be a bit claustrophobic sometimes, you know, and you can spend a lot of your time focused inward on the relationship itself or on just your partner. And I haven't been as much a part of the larger Denver community as I want to be. Um, I. And I haven't made as many friends as I want to, but just this small example of going to a grade school musical and just, you know, dressing up nice and, and getting, you know, a future incredible actress flowers and smiling at everybody and, and just showing support. I think it was just a nice, simple act of being the kind of guy I want to be in the world and that I wanna be in the community I'm in. So, yeah, I just hope that you all can take that as a motivation or a, a inspirational story of like, Hey, this is something we all need to do for each other, you know, like, I'll tell you one more story. As, as a kid, I remember shopping at grocery stores with my mom, and oftentimes we'd be checking out and she would try to talk to like the cashier and I always felt kind of uncomfortable with this because she would ask them like, oh, how are you? What's your name? How's your day? You know, like just getting involved in their lives. And often these people looked, you know, kind of like zombies, you know, like anybody has, I've worked at checkout at a grocery store. It's pretty monotonous work and. You know, I, I just got uncomfortable 'cause I'm like, oh mom, like why are you trying to like, dig into their lives? They obviously have shitty lives. They wouldn't be working here. And I just had this narrative in my head about like what their lives were, why my mom should just keep her mouth shut and check out and be quiet and let them go on with their day and. You know, not be bothered with having to answer a bunch of questions from my mom. And, you know, I didn't realize until much later that how stupid that was. Like, you know, like this was probably just one of the highlights of their day, honestly, like anyone reaching in, frankly, when you're at a, an honest job and being anything different or just showing a little bit of kindness or trying to draw out a little bit of. Humanity from you, while you're not feeling very human, you know, you're feeling kind of robotic at a checkout line or whatever you're doing in, in certain service jobs. Like, I think that was a profound kindness that my mom was doing, and I'm sorry I judged it so harshly. And mom, if you're listening, I'm, I'm sorry to you now, but I'm really grateful that you showed me the kind of person who is a part of her community. You know, in just a small way, just giving that extra little moment to someone at the checkout line or, or, you know, if you're going out to eat, you know, your server, your bartender, or your, your mechanic, you know, just people that you don't have much more than transactional purpose to be involved with. Giving them a little bit of openness to share something with you, to be a little more authentically themselves, I think is profound kindness. And I'm really grateful that I was shown that by my mom. All right, so I think that does it for this week. 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